WHO are you?

A conversation differentiating doing and embodying

Don’t let me tell someone, “I like take pictures” while my wife is around. She will almost always jump in and say, “she’s a photographer.”

Even after years (decades really) of studying the art of photography, investing in equipment, shadowing published photographers, conceptualizing and executing photoshoots, and receiving praise for my artistic eye.. I still find it hard to call myself “a photographer.”

Why is that?

There is a certain power that comes with stepping into a role wholeheartedly. It is a divine decision that requires devotion. Devotion to yourself and your craft is a direct reflection of self worthiness. IF you feel worthy of all of the good things, you will devote whatever it takes to obtain those good things.. and more. But what if you don’t feel worthy? What if questioning if you deserve a good thing is simply a part of your normal routine? Then.. who are you? You’re someone trying to do something, or someone hoping to do something. Both words, “trying” and “hoping,” strip you of your ability to embody who you truly want to be. Your lack of self worth is keeping you from fulfilling your purpose. It’s me. I’m talking to myself here. If this resonates, please.. stick around. We can (and we will) figure this out together.

Some people (me) who struggle with self worth and its impact on self perception would rather share what we do because we haven’t fully accepted it as being who we are. Here is where the work comes in..

We, as a collective, have to fix our relationship with ourselves. Do you find yourself engaging in negative self talk? Do you give yourself grace, or do you beat yourself down? When someone offers you a compliment.. are you able to sit with it and accept it, or do you question it and pick it apart to the point where it no longer feels applicable to you? These are all things that we have to be mindful of. We have to correct the negative loops until they no longer appear.

Here are some things I’m doing to improve my self worth:

1. I keep a log of compliments and accolades I receive. When I feel under-accomplished or “not good enough,” I refer back to that log.

2. I give myself praise for keeping promises to myself. If I tell myself I’m going to do [xyz] thing on [xyz] day, I acknowledge and praise myself when it happens. No matter how big or small the promise was.

   1. for any reason if [xyz] thing doesn’t happen, I accept it and give myself flexibility and grace. I also affirm with myself that I am worthy and deserving of understanding.

3. I separate my worth from my output and tell myself repeatedly that rest is productive. 

4. If I’m asked to do something that does not align with me I say no without over explaining. I then praise myself for honoring my boundaries.

Step one is realizing that we are worthy of everything that comes with that. We are all trying to build our arsenal of self worth improving tools. Please share some of yours in the comments ✿